Diary

if im not available, go to HALALDOS 2 for some actually good shit (TCC DNI)

Alright, im currently typing this without the urge to press the uppercase coma so neocities doesnt flip out, altough its only for the uppercase one, i dont know why. But anyway, Im Stefan and ive been getting into HTML for the past week and ive been kinda getting into it, well, considering the fact that i only know the basics of html, but i hope to get better ig. Normally id spill my thoughts into a journal of sorts but due to the fact that i've burned two of them, and lost 4, i think its about time i take a more. . . modern (?) approach to journaling. But anyway, thats it for now, if anything comes up ill update the site either today, tommorow or whenever i feel like it.

/2:23PM/ - something is off, i dont know wat. i have this gut feeling like shits gonna hit the fan and that its gonna be the biggest shitload ive ever seen. Normally id say that IM fucked, but in this situation i truly am. I feel like nervous i feel like something is going ti happen i feel like this large, cloud is above my head and is ready to go off at Any fucking minute. og god why do i feel like this i dont wanna fucking feel like this. everything is spinning.

/2:30PM/ - Im starting to calm down a little bit. once when i get home ill start to actually take a grasp on reality and get my priorities straight. The fact that im typing this durng class is making my goddamn paranoia worse. The nervousness is turning into genuiene fear. Fear of what? why the hell am i feeling like this? Im getting tired, ill update when i get home.

/3:53PM/ - I went back home around an hour ago. Something doesnt add up though. My dad had a call and took up my room til 4, and when he did leave he started yelling at me for eating double at school today. For a second that set me back into that depressive mindscape again. My chest tightend, everythin began to spin. I finally got my composure back after i stepped into my room and took a breather, but mostly the feeling went away after i heard my dad say "but i want to take you to ballette", to my little sister. But anyway, that's it for today, going to a trip in Greece tommorow til Tuesday. (*Monday)

12/5/25

Okay, so, i just realized that what i had the other day is something called a panic attack...Great...But anyway, im currently wearing the most poser shit ever, considering the fact that im wearing a Tommy Hilfiger tee and a Grey(Gray) hoodie which i hate considering that it's the same color, size and has the same appearance of a NOVA hoodie which my classmates fucking hate. But in what world does a Macedonian teacher teach Math, like What the Hell?! But also another thing which ive wanted to say, so, during the making of this website i made a link to one of my friend's OS called Halaldos 2. but another link there leads to a page called "heretic", which had some evidence about this guy on Discord called avarage, who was, or more techically is an estonian pedo who prays on 13-14y old trans kids, plays gooner games and spends money on that and a lot, LOT more if you check the page out. I don't really know his age, some say it's 16, some say it's 18. I myself believe it's 18. i do have screenshots of the events which occured on that server, one of them being the link itself i provided.

/11:09AM/ - Im currently sitting with MatejK, who's raging that nis NIX OS seemingly won't install, and also some other tech shit which i'm seemingly not familiar with. But back to me i guess. Im currently writing this during advisory and we're suppose to make some decoration for the door. But that's not my main worry, im worrying about the trip to greece. The same panic overwhelmes me everytime i think about it. it makes me feel like i have nausea, everything spins and it makes me on the verge of curling into a ball and crying my eyes out into my room, MY room. not some fancy schmancy hotel in greece. My. Room... yknow, typing this out really makes me feel a little better, considering that im making my thoughts go from my shitty head onto some website which no one else but me is also what compells me to keep going, both in life and with this website. Best case scenario is that i was just having a bad day yesterday, and that it just became a little too much. Yeah, it was just a bad day... nothing... nothing else... yeah. Also, holy shit, this whole entry took 13 minutes to type out, i dont know if that's fast or slow but my god time passes by quickly... And also another thing. since those 2 panic attacks yesterday i decided to do the 5.4.3.2.1. method. mainly because it feels, more effective... Anyway, Ms. Ana is losing i gtg.

/11:46AM/ - No way! math class in the same room! That's cool i guess. But gain, as quick as something changes i do have to report on it. Boris kinda flipped out. But i guess its all good now. Also, another thing, actually, ill talk about that in another segment, right now, im at Ms Milena's classroom to do some science energy experiments. Due to this i might be able to continue this in the End-Of-The-Day Macedonian class, which even though-

/2:07PM/ - So... shit DID hit the fan. So yknow murphy's law right? That anything that can go wrong, will go wrong, at the worst possible moment. Well, you got your answear. During the time of me typing out the last entry and me setting up the fucking thing-a-majig for science, i had a whole fucking mental breakdown. I just couldnt hold it in, and i accidently spilled Anastasija's drink, which for some odd reason just... made me cry, i was angry, then sad, then hopeless, and everything started spinning worse than it has ever been before. I couldnt speak due to my fuckass throat closing up... GOD DAMMIT. jovan moved away from me during macedonian and i know its nothing personal but... i just cant fucking do it anymore. i cant, i simply fucking cant. im always seen like a loser around other people. Calm down, its just one bad day... its just... one bad... day...